Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury
Arthur Murray Santa Monica
Ever been around someone who just drove you nuts? Is there is just something about them that drives you bonkers and irritates you? The way they speak and what they say to you and to others. They way they look. Their grammar. The hair at the back of your neck bristles when you get around them. And, usually there is no escaping from them in your life. There is always someone who rubs you the wrong way.
After a lifetime of learning, this is my great revelation. When I am around someone who does something that truly gets under my skin, I realize that I am looking at a quality that I myself possess that, in turn, also irritates others. We only recognize the faults in others which we know to be in ourselves. That’s a big pill to swallow, but I believe it to be true. To be out in the arena of life you must pay the Price of Admission. What’s the Price of Admission?
J. Clair Woodbury, my mom, always talked to me about building an empire on what we like in others. Building an Empire is this, the moment you meet someone, immediately find what you love about them and comment on it. From that moment on you continue to Build an Empire of Friendship. Unfortunately, before we even get to that magic building point, we usually first see what we don’t like in others. The irritating habits, odd behaviors, strange comments we see in others usually bother us before we even know them, and we instantly judge them.
Now let’s get back to the Price of Admission. When you finally meet the love of your life, after a while you’re going to hear them sniff too much, shred their grammar, or burp during dinner (sorry, Joel). They may cough too much, or say “Where’s it at”, “Yea”, “Ugh” or “Like, Like, Like” over and over (don’t even get me started on the valley talk!). When you finally feel you’re hopelessly irritated, remember, forgiving the little bothersome things we see in others is the Price of Admission to have friendships or a great love in our lives. No one is perfect. I’m the president of the imperfection club for sure!
Remember when judging someone else and pointing the righteous finger, that three other fingers are pointing right back at us! Sometimes, we just have to accept what we don’t like in others. Then we should have the great realization that we are probably driving them crazy with some of our own habits. I recently watched a video I recorded for a student’s dancing and was horrified to hear the operator of the camera (myself) coughing, sniffing, and clearing their throat. I said, “Who is making all those irritating sounds?” and guess who was the culprit? It was me! What an awakening! (I still make those distracting noises, argh!) I’m 67, and I make old man noises. Very bothersome I’m sure to others! “Sniff” “Cough” I just heard myself while typing!
Now, I realize that I made it in life by others forgiving me for all the quirky habits that I have (and mistakes I make and have made). Some of these are scratching, itching, coughing, sniffing, and generally just wiggling around like a squirmy wormy all the time. My mouth and quick responses are also a problem. I never answer a direct question, which is what drives many of my friends to despair. It’s the Price of Admission to be around me, but I am trying to lower the cost of the tickets if you know what I mean! I’m working on all my irritating habits.
Let’s give each other a break and be more forgiving and more tolerant and loving. It will help our blood pressure and will help us become better friends in life! So, the next time someone gets your goat, rather than getting upset, try saying something kind and nice to them. You may find that you will build a new treasured friendship that may last your whole lifetime! “Sniff”
Sincerely,
David Woodbury
Arthur Murray Santa Monica, CA