Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury Arthur Murray Santa Monica
“You have the right to do and say anything.
It does not mean it’s the right thing to do!”
Today we live in a rough and tumble world. The pandemic changed everything for everyone throughout the whole world. For all of us who came out the other side of covid, we are transformed in some way.
It seemed during the lockdown, that it became acceptable to say anything to anyone at any time, and that seemed to be OK. Everyone everywhere seemed to have the right to just do about anything they wanted, and they did.
A motivational writer during the hardest days of 2020 and 2021, pinned that “You have the right to do and say anything. It does not mean it’s the right thing to do”. That saying strongly resonated in my mind, heart, soul, spirit, and even into my home and business life.
The whole world seemed to have gone crazy. All at once many were truly just doing anything they wanted whenever they wanted.
As we have emerged into our “new normal”, I have seen some changes that have startled me. The former courtesy of saying “Good Afternoon. May I ask you a question?” just turned into “I want a burger” “I want an appointment” “Give me my order” and just many, many more examples beyond this.
Smiling at a customer. Friendly greetings. Polite thank yous. All just about disappeared.
So, I went on a mission. To lead with example. I have the right to bark out what I want when I want it, but the right thing to do for me was this. “Hello, may I place an order?” “How are you today?” “Thank you for your great service”. “That was a wonderful experience”. “You were terrific” “Great Job!” “Have a lovely day”
I don’t believe that I have the right to do anything or say anything that I want at any time. I believe that if I want to continue giving great service, I have the right to put myself second, and others first in my life.
I now know that if I don’t do the job at hand correctly, and finish the job, that someone else will have to do it for me. Someone who is twice as busy as I am and has a heart of service will always be “stepping up” to do what I could be doing and doing what I should have done on my own. They will also do this all without complaining. They are doing the right thing that I should have done but did not do.
In my early years, I had a quick and brutal tongue. I could cut through steel with just one comment. This was not a good quality to have. Now, in my more mature years, I am learning about silence. Taking a moment to pause before I reply. Calming myself while someone else is speaking and not thinking about my response to their words while they are still talking. Taking a few seconds to respond to a question or giving pause and breathing before speaking. Practicing the art of listening.
This is such a transformative experience. I was a horrible mansplainer. Talking over the other person. Never letting them finish a sentence. Thinking I always knew more that the other person all the time. Assuming I knew what they were going to say next. I was a train wreck and not well liked with this character flaw.
Now I have cooled my jets, and I have become a much better listener. When the mansplainers in my life who now do this to me, I just smile, stay quiet and let them talk. I just see my old self expressed through their words. I stay quiet and listen. I am sorrowful for my own weakness and faults in the past as I see what I once did to others being done to me. I was such a poor listener. Guess what, others have a lot of great ideas and things to say. Now I say, after listening, “Well said!”. “Brilliant”. “Thank you!” “I could not have said it better!”
I have the right to talk over others, to not listen, to bulldoze over them, but that’s not the right thing to do in my opinion. There is a great Southern way to describe this type of person and this type of behavior, but it’s not polite blogging you know what I mean.
Now, my goal in life is to do the right thing. It might not be the most pleasing thing for me personally to do, but it will be the right thing. I have an upcoming blog about how to disarm any situation and bring calm and peace into any interaction. I learned this from one of my current and greatest mentors. She is a master with people and is a dear friend to me.
My goal now is to listen, take a pause, wait, and rather than do what’s good just for me. Doing the right thing, in the right time, in the right way for others.
What do you think about this? Please let me know in the comment section.
Blessings and thank you for reading.
David Woodbury
Keep on Dancing
It will Get Better!