Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury
Arthur Murray Santa Monica
Many years ago, I was competing pro with my dear sister, Debi. We were taking many professional dance lessons together. Our British coach in the Beverly Hills Arthur Murray Studio was giving us an early morning Bolero lesson. We were working very hard to get the right feeling that he was asking for. Then, he stopped and said this,
“The Lady is the Man’s True North”. I remember stopping and I was taken with the power of his statement.
He said that no matter what pattern we were dancing, that the follower was the center, “True North”, of the man’s lead, thoughts, connection, balance and focus. Every time with every step, the lady was to be his absolute center of thought. This technique revolutionized our Bolero, and all our competitive dances.
Now, after so many decades, I have taught “True North” to all my personal students, to all the couples I’ve trained, and to all the professionals I have coached. When coaching a new couple, I walk up to them after they dance their routine and say, that was great, but you never looked at each other!
Now, give it another run through and only focus on one another. Tell the story of the dance and show demonstrate your partnership and connection. The run through with this “True North” tech was dramatically fresh, new, and different, and they both could feel and sense the difference in their focused performance.
A big common complaint about ballroom dancing today, is that there is very little Waltz in a Waltz routine. And that goes for all the styles of dancing. There is a huge trend to squeeze in as many fast turns, spins and tricks as possible, diluting the essence of the actual dance. With the current trend, watching a couple dancing on the floor, often you cannot tell what dance they are doing. It all looks the same with the fastest, the hardest and the most complicate choreography.
When do you not see this? It is when you see the very top champions dancing their honor dances. They relax a bit and truly show the style, essence and character of the dance that they are performing. They have reached the top.
After so many years of relationships (only 2 for me in 34 years, the first ended by the death of my first partner), I have taught this “True North” concept to all my couples, to staff, friends, speaking engagements, and in my own life. Just treat the person you are with, whether you are in a casual conversation, or your own life partner, as if they are truly your “True North” in that moment or in your dancing, or in your life. I remember my first partner who often said to me “Just treat me as well as you treat one of your students!” A challenging tall order that I learned and that I’m still work on.
In teaching couples, married couples, to be married couples, dance partner, and single followers and leaders, I always teach the same thing. The two most important parts and the most wonderful parts of being a couple and dancing together are the partnerships that are shared and the connections that deepen between two people.
What lovely words, partnership and connection. When watching the top couples, nothing is more beautiful than seeing how well they dance together. How they think as one, demonstrate the character of the dance, move as a unit, and how they present and honor each other.
Try this in your own life. The next time you are interacting with someone at work, at play, or in your personal life, treat them as if in that moment, that they are the “True North” of your life. As you are interacting with your family, try this with them. And if you have a partner, treat them as if they are your “True North” for 30 days in a row and see what happens to your relationship. Only think of your partnership and connection every moment you are with them in all you do and say, and what you feel in your heart. I’m sure you’ll see a wonderful result from this “True North” lifestyle.
Here’s to a “North Star” way of living and dancing and being!
Thank you for reading and Keep on Dancing!
David Woodbury