“How to Disarm a Situation”

Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury 

Arthur Murray Santa Monica

“How to disarm a situation”

I have a lovely friend who is also a mentor to me. She is amazing on so many levels and I truly admire her. Her advice has meant the world to me.

Once, I was in a meeting for a huge fundraiser to be held in a top beach front hotel and the guest list would include the Mayor, City Manager, The City Council, Arthur Murray Dancers, Dance Judges, Competitors and many more.

This was a massive undertaking and our goal was to have a “Dancing with the Stars” type of competition with local city celebrities and famous judges, auction, dinner, show, and dancing with exhibitions.

Our formation meetings were filled with the most amazing organizers, leaders, self-starters, volunteers and executives. As the co-creator of the event, I ran the meetings in our location and to tell the truth, some meetings were quite an experience for me. All these amazing and powerful leaders could truly strongly disagree, and it could get the best of me at times.

One day, my mentor came and had a meeting with me. She taught me a lesson that I thoroughly learned and have implemented in my personal life, home life, work and volunteer life.

She taught me to say: “I am so sorry that has happened. I take responsibility for this and I will make it right.” Most of the time I had nothing to do with the problem, it was not my fault, but she taught me to be the peace maker by first saying “I’m sorry” for something I didn’t even do. Secondly, she taught me to say, “Let’s make this work” and listen and bring everyone together in peace and harmony.

The brilliance of saying “I’m sorry” and “I take responsibility” and “We’ll make this work together” is all amazing. I have seen so many fires of misunderstandings and conflicts completely extinguished, and I have seen peace restored.

In daily life, let the other car merge in front of you. If someone is upset, say “I’m so sorry that happened to you”. Open a door for someone to pass first. Letting someone else speak first. In dancing, use floor craft to pause, and let the other couple dance ahead of you”.

If there is an argument, being the peace maker and soothe the conversation. None of this is easy, but highly effective and take a lot of practice to learn and implement.

Most of the time, other are never mad at us, they just need someone to listen to them and lend an ear. It does take a power village of dynamic leaders to make magic happen!

As for the gala mentioned before, it was a sensation and the “Talk of the Town” for a long time. All were happy, friendly and joyous that so many creative souls had come together to raise money for such a lovely cause.

Try this. When you encounter someone who is “hot under the collar”, try saying “I’m so sorry”. Listen and you might find the person is able to turn it all around, and even share a good laugh before leaving.

Today, we could all use more peace makers and I for one, volunteer today to try my best to build peace and harmony.

Thank you for reading, Keep on Dancing, It will get better,

David Woodbury