Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury
Arthur Murray Santa Monica
The Price of Admission is something I have written and spoken about for years now.
The premise is this: You meet the love of your life and you are smitten. You go out to dinner and order. The food is served, and you begin to eat. You notice that your “perfect love” begins to talk with their mouth full of food while they are chewing and you’re shocked. What do you do? (pieces of food are falling out and some are ejected!).
Well, the answer is this. You just let it happen and you accept it. Of all the 98% of the things you love about them, you overlook this one thing you are seeing. This is your Price of Admission.
Why do you just move on? Because you have 10+ things that you do that irritate your incredible new love and they overlook these faults all the time. When you interrupt them, all the times you say “Like” over and over. All the times you have lost your keys, the umpteenth time your car empty gas beeper goes off as you are on a long freeway trip.
At my age, I realize now that the things that irritate me about others, are my own faults that I am seeing through them. Now, at 68, when I get upset at someone, I say, oh no, that is exactly what I do and what I dislike about myself. I put on the judgment breaks quickly. My fail-safe is silence and pausing before I speak, or just not saying anything (always a good call on my end).
In my dancing world, my social world, my personal world, I am practicing taking a moment before I speak. Whether it is someone’s tardiness, forgetfulness, not remembering was just said, I am pausing and not letting my blood pressure rise. I check my thoughts before I say them.
Of the four personality types, Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, and Melancholic, I am a retired Choleric and a chosen Sanguine. My first thing to do is to open my mouth and give a quick response, but no one truly likes working with a Choleric. I noticed the friends in my life who were always so cheerful and happy, and I began to ask them if they knew that they were Sanguine personalities. Also, I noticed that they were always the same happy and very pleasant people. (I noticed that their partners were not the same personality type).
At this point, I just decided to be a funny, happy, and more pleasant person. To be a true Sanguine. That snake of my Choleric nature is always trying to pop its head out, but I Whack-A-Mole it back into submission. I’m proud to say that my blood pressure this week during my checkup was 125 over 87, and I don’t take BP meds!
I often think of Matthew 15:11 “It is not what goes into the mouth of a man that defiles and dishonors him, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles and dishonors him. Many, many times I have messed up, not because of what happened, but because of stupid, thoughtless, or angry words that I said that I just did not need to. Words that I regretted, some to this day.
Although this is hard for me, I’m quelling my tongue now. I often think of “The Price of Admission” and I think, in silence, what am I doing or what do I do that is not right to others. I find the answer is that everyone loves a nice greeting and a smile. They love to hear a sweet kind word and also to share a laugh and a pleasant thought. They love consistency in all these things every time and they love to know what to expect when they see me.
I know that being around me has a “Price of Admission”. I just hope that it’s worth it to the person, peoples, groups, or assemblies with whom I am in contact. I hope I bring light, life, hope, joy, love, wisdom, and encouragement every time I speak.
Seek out your friends who are worth the Price of Admission. You may find that they are the best and easiest people to be around. Many become great, life-long friends. You’ll also find that by just being with them, you will meet others who are just the same. You’ll become as they are. Hello Sanguine world, I am here to stay.
Thank you for reading and Keep on Dancing!
David Woodbury