“What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?”

Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury                                

Arthur Murray Santa Monica

Dancing at Arthur Murray is a happy, fun part of life. It is the great escape. Dancing heals the body, soul and spirit. Dancing puts you in the present moment free of anxiety of the past and worry about the future. Dancing is a Balm in Gilead. Dancing develops self confidence and gives one a healthy self-image. Dancing helps one recover from depression and gives one the chance to heal after surgery and illness. I personally believe that dancing is the elixir of youth. I am convinced that when we dance, time stops, and we don’t age. I also believe that when we continue to dance, our minds, hearts and souls get younger. Yes, dancing is amazing and magical.

Yet, life throws us many curves and we have challenges and valleys to walk through. My life has always been so very blessed. I had wonderful parents and strong siblings. My career with Arthur Murray Dance School began when I was just 18 and I turned pro in 1976 and I have never left. For many years I “had it all” as they say in life.

Many years later, within a 2-year period, I lost both parents and my life partner died in my arms and I sold my wonderful franchised school in order to become a full-time caregiver. My life turned upside down in a very short time. I have no regrets about taking care of my partner and being there at the end. I gave my all.

Then, I had to rebuild my new life. By the kindness of many friends, I was always employed, and I had many doors open up again for me. Arthur Murray was one of the rocks that I stood on when I could not even stand on my own. My friends were always there, and I learned about all the love in the Arthur Murray family.

After Mom died, I had a competition the next weekend. I did it and I threw myself into all my many entries knowing that is what she would have wanted me to do. After my partner died, then Dad, I returned to studio life, managing, teaching, traveling and coaching. The dance work was fulfilling, and the joy of the dancing was a great healer.

I have taught many student who had prepared me for these losses in my life. I had seen couples lose one another and the remaining partner continued to dance and relearn happiness and joy. I had seen students who had lost children who found an escape from grief through their dancing.

The biggest miracle was seeing my students start dancing or return to dancing with terrible illnesses or after major surgeries. I witnessed many, many students who returned after cancer, hip and joint and organ replacements, car accidents, strokes, heart attacks. Diabetic students, students with prosthetics, students with advanced Parkinson’s Disease and dementia. (Students deaf and even blind, see previous blogs on two of my amazing students.) I’ve coached students with two artificial legs. I have even taught a student in a motorized chair. He loved his lessons. (So did I!)

Strangely enough, my physically challenged students were often the happiest and the hardest working students I ever taught. They always humbled me. I could not have imagined living their lives with their great hope and attitudes.

Now, many years later, I have my own challenges from sorrow and current illness. Yet, I am so thankful for the opportunity to dance and teach others to dance. I have trouble walking, yet I can still teach a solid 3-hour staff training session and still stay on to work and help at our school. Instead of being brokenhearted, I am full of joy and thankfulness for the great opportunities I have to still dance, and I am physically and mentally still able to “cut a rug”. My goal is to be that guy 70 or 80 who is perfectly dressed. He takes the dance floor and the ladies love dancing with me and I with them. And, I am able to dance the whole night until the last dance. Yes, I have a dancer’s dream!

Two of my personal professional teachers are 20 years older than I am. They are vibrant, beautiful and strong, amazing coaches. When they coach, a cloak of age falls off of them and they are instantly young, agile, rhythmical and full of strength and power to dance. They magically transform in front of your eyes, and students are transformed through their teaching. It is a miracle to watch and amazing to see!

What becomes of the brokenhearted? First, I think we all deserve to live and that we are all important and our lives matter. I believe that anyone can still dance. I have taught many, many students weeks and weeks of “chair” lessons that left us in full sweats and breathless. They just could not stand in their cast or after their surgery. Many times, I heard what their doctors said about their amazing recoveries. Doctor: “What are you doing that is making you heal so fast and so beautifully?” It was always the dancing.

If your heart is broken, come dance. If you are angry and having emotional troubles, come in and learn how to Tango. Tango is a great way to let go of anger. If you just can’t recover from a loss, come in and learn Rumba first to sooth and heal you. Then learn Swing, the Fun Dance. Then Salsa, Cha Cha, and Bachata. (Viennese Waltz is my all-time favorite dance!)

Bring your broken heart, broken body to the dance floor and give the magic of dance a chance to heal you. It may happen quickly (you will feel some joy instantly) or the healing may take a long time. The only thing that I know is that there is healing through dancing and movement and music and partnership and connection with another dancer.

I have decided to live, laugh, love and to embrace my life and rejoice in all the great opportunities to discover joy around me. The holes in my soul that have been carved out from sorrow have been, and continue to be filled with the joys of life. The dancing has been the quickest way for me to heal and, as long as I can cart myself onto the dance floor, I will continue to move and dance.

What becomes of the brokenhearted? We go on and rediscover our joy and we heal. Let the dancing help you along. Go put on some music and dance around in your kitchen. You’ll be glad you started moving again!

Thanks for reading,

David Woodbury