Changing Lives through Dancing by David Woodbury
Arthur Murray Santa Monica
We are very blessed to have so many students at Arthur Murray Santa Monica who are in giving service professions. Sports Acupuncturists, Massage therapist, Facialists, Lawyers, Doctors, CPAs, Teachers, Managers, those in Sales, Coaches, Restaurant Owners and Servers, Civic Leaders, Politicians, Architects, Builders, Doctors & Nurses and all Medical Personnel, Financers, Writers, Producers and Directors, and all types of Managers and Supervisors, Moms and Dads, Caregivers, Therapists, Religious, Office Workers, Delivery People, Professional Athletes, Professional Dancers, Wedding Planners, Social Media and Influencers, Technicians, and many more. Sorry for I have left out many professions and lifestyles that are not listed.
Daily, we receive students who give of themselves to others all day long. They may have customers. They may have staff. They may be in sales. They may be in positions where they greet the public and work with the public all days. They may be the person to whom everyone complains. They may be the “fixer” in their home or job. They may have family, or they may be teachers.
To all of these from all walks of service, I love getting them started with their dancing. From the moment they walk in, to the minute they dance out the front door, I want them to be “given to” the entire time they are here with us. The lessons are designed to give them a refreshing experience in a safe place with kind, fun, and knowledgeable teachers. Each lesson should be filled with laughter and fun, good exercise and exciting movement to the music.
At going on 69, I only hire staff who make me laugh and who are good to me. If they’re good to me, they are good to my other staff and students. There are many talented dancers, but few people who are naturally gifted with making you feel good and happy. I am also the age of students who love to dance, take many lessons, go to events, and take dance vacations. I love teachers who love their students and take excellent care of them. At Arthur Murray, we call this the “Cadillac Treatment” and I completely believe in this concept.
The Cadillac Treatment teaches that our students always come first. Their needs, wants, hopes, joys, feelings, dreams…all these are first with us. We also practice the 90/10 theory. That teaches that 90% of the lesson is about the dance student, and just 10% is for the dance instructor.
With perfect “Cadillac” teachers in a dance school, all with a great vibe, we are able to “Give to the Givers” and have a fantastic school.
After almost 50 years of teaching, I have a lot of wonderful stories about giving to students. Decades ago, I had a lovely female student walk in. She was stooped over and could not stand straight and tall. She had been a dancer for many years in her youth and she was now a plastic surgeon. Her procedures lasted 4, 6, to 8 hours as she was leaning forward the entire time! She shared with me that she was facing a very early retirement because she had so much back pain. She could not stand up straight.
First, we started on the basics of ballroom dancing with her. Footwork, body alignment, breathing, and relaxation. We began with Foxtrot and Rumba (a great dance for a hurting body). Then we moved on to Waltz and Tango, Swing and Cha Cha.
As the first few weeks passed, her posture began to improve. She said that during her new surgeries, that she was able to bend and flex her knees and legs and she was remembering to straighten up on little mini breaks. Her back pain was lessening.
Then, we had the opportunity to dance in a Showcase! Our solo dance was Waltz, and we competed in Foxtrot, Waltz, Tango, Swing, Rumba and Cha Cha, and some Latin dances. The competition was a huge success and after competiting, she was no longer in pain.
After her first year of dancing, her posture has fully returned, and her pain was completely gone. I remember receiving a huge hug and a thank you after her danceaversary of one year. Dancing had given back to the giver. We continued competiting and danced for several years after that.
How can you practice this in your dancing? If you are a leader, dance with the best posture, dance frame, perfect footwork, excellent rhythm, and great floorcraft. If you are a follower, be light in the man’s arms, anticipate the leads and follow easily, stop your partner if someone is going to run into him, keep a steady frame and use lovely head and arm and hand styling.
I have taken all my certification tests at the follower, and I have also been judged on my ability to perfectly follow and lead with all styling and poise, carriage, grace and composure. I know the language of leading and following and I’m fluent in both. Want to be a perfect follower, learn how to lead. Want to be the best leader, learn to follow. You can only lead as well as you follow, and you can only follow as well as you can lead. That’s just the way it is to becoming an excellent dancer. Many a partner has said to me “I can follow any man with a good lead” and I always respond, “I can always dance with any partner who is a good follower”.
The best exercise I can give to all is this, switch sides in your group classes. Leaders, stand in the follower’s line. Followers, switch to the leader’s line. Your mind will be blown away as a man following other men. How they hold you, their frame, their movement. You’ll never lead the same way again. Followers, it will transform you. You will have partners pulling down on you and resting their arms on your frame. You’ll come from that group class being the lightest dancer in the ballroom after this experience.
It takes a lot of courage to ask a partner to dance with you. Upon asking for a dance, say “May I have this dance?” Respond with “Why yes, thank you”. Finish the dance with a sincere “thank you” and a small bow and escort the follower to her seat. May seem corny, but it never gets old.
The last tip of the day is this, the best way to give back to the giver is this, just listen to them. Givers rarely get to talk, and few listen to them because they are always listening to others. Take a moment, keep on smiling, nodding, and just listed and wait until a pause and then give a positive short reply. It is miraculous to others to be heard and listened to!
Your challenge is to find the “givers” around you and spend a week, a month, a season, a year giving back to them. Your life will change, and they will be blessed.
Thank you for reading and Keep on Dancing!
David Woodbury
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